I have changed my mindset about this subject so many times through out my life.
In a non "poor me" way I have been cheated on, or betrayed in some dodgy way by the majority of the males I have been in a relationship with/dated so far (and there has been a few, I'm not gonna lie).
Its not in a poor me way because as devastated and hurt as I was every single time I know deep down, that I just haven't meet the one with the same moral and loyalty that I now hold and every experience has been for me, teaching me as I go, what I needed to know about what really matters to me in a relationship and in life.
I say now, because I have not always been this angelic through out my life 😉. In my younger years I have learnt some of these lessons the hard way. Through either hurt or making terrible mistakes out of my own fear.
Its just a matter of fact that for some reason humans and especially males struggle to keep there dicks (or their fannys) in their pants at some point in their life. Weather we follow through on these feelings or not, sometimes, a secret message, a secret "friendly" meeting or the most subtle of inappropriate comment to the wrong person is enough for some of our moral and dignity to be compromised, apparently I am in that basket now, but I was not always that way inclined, and to be honest this feeling is destined to change I am sure.
I think the thing with loyalty is, it is so important to get in touch with your true inner self and discover what is okay with you and what is not, no excuses, which we do make for our loved ones, love is truly blind as they say. If you don't know what is okay with you, how can your partner know what is crossing the line in your relationship.
I mean some men (or woman) are great and know okay obviously fucking, kissing, touching, licking is out of bound with this girl (or guy) but what about the sly butt grab, hanging out with an ex, secret messages, over sharing of sexuality or a shit stirring sexual comment for example. If your not okay with these and the lines are blurred it leaves the relationship super vulnerable to sabotage and misunderstanding of boundaries.
Knowing your worth, what you deserve and want from a relationship and communicating this with your partner from an early stage in your relationship is super important. Then everyone's loyalty expectations are out in the open. We may have to compromise to an extent as some people have accumulated jealousy or good old trust issues, issues that may need to build trust in you as time goes on and will soften in time, or some people may have very open ideas around loyalty that may need to be changed up a little bit if the person truly wants to be involved in the relationship.
Some people even choose open relationships, not for me in my current mindstate personally, I couldn't handle the jandle of sharing my lover with another, but some people genuinely are ok with this. All I'm saying is both parties need to be on bored with your loyalty ideas, or at some point, the relationship may eventually break down over misunderstood loyalty boundaries. And unfortunately for you bottle it up, non communicators it takes communication!
Relationships are tough, and it's a big wide world out there with a lot of potential partners, temptations and "the grass is greener" thought patterns. Just make sure, that what you are doing is right by your partner, be true to yourself of what is acceptable behaviour in your unique relationship and be mindful of your decisions instead of making decisions on loyalty based on fear and insecurities that potentially have no reason to exist or be ready for the consequences of the loss of that person forever.
It is as simple as treat that person how you want to be treated, talk about what is crossing the line for you, be straight up and honest to yourself and to your partner, and pretty much don't be a fucking douche bag, and enjoy basking in the light of your loyal, trustworthy and honest relationship.
Lots of Love
Amy Dee xx