So yep Tina Turner totally inspired this post 😜.
I was dancing round my bedroom having a sing song to What's Love Got To Do With It and it got me to thinking. In the bedroom when your getting down and dirty does love always need to be involved to have that soul connecting, mind exploding , orgasmic feeling?
I was actually discussing this subject with my lovely, sexually empowered friend the other day and she stood by the statement that "Shit yes, power to the pussy!", something about that lady, totally inspired me in the sexy department, and we should totally be taking a leaf out of her book, POWER TO THE PUSSY! 🐱
I on the other hand, in the past have struggled to fully embrace sex, in other words, orgasm, without that emotional connection. I have struggled keeping that straight head of detachment, as well as completely enjoying the sexual experience. Not that the experience would necessarily be un-enjoyable. One night stands or emotion less sex would (in most cases) be fun and very nice while it was happening but in most cases ,to be honest, I would not find my complete happy place. The guy would leave on his merry way and I would be left feeling used, unsatisfied and defeated yet again.
I found for a long time until more recent years that I could have either detachment and no orgasm or orgasm and mega emotional connection.
As I have grown and gained more experience and worked on shining more love towards myself and my insecurities, I have discovered it is all about connection and being comfortable, and not necessarily with your sex partner but with yourself.
If you want to experience amazing sex in a sexual friendship without love, I believe it does take connection, safety, comfort and love but totally for and with yourself.
That is not to say that if you are like me and have struggled to climax a lot in your life that it is all down to our partners incapabilities. In some cases yes, and like I said in a previous post, a lot of men do need re-educating and a little bit of guidance in the bedroom but of course they do!
They are male, they do not have a vagina and they are not a woman, and we are a little bit more complicated to turn on, so get comfortable with communicating your needs and taking the lead in that department if you want to experience an amazing sex life, without a long term partner.
A lot of it is to do with the need for us as woman to take charge of our sexual essence, grow more confident and comfortable within ourselves and our needs and wants sexually to reach that happy place that we all desire, but to be honest at times, can frankly get fed up with trying to reach when it becomes a long term challenge.
I mean for men we all know that with the majority of them, NO, they do not need to have their heart involved, or frankly any emotional connection other than the connection with there own D to experience awesome tap and gap situations. For woman we are the leaders of the divine feminine energy which means we are more emotionally driven, softer by nature and loving and nurturing souls, so for us differentiating love and sex as separate can be a challenge in this modern day world.
My out look on sex without love is give YOURSELF all the love, nurturing and comforting you need and loveless sex can be AMAZING.
Without it, it's no wonder that, that one night stand can leave you feeling worse for wear, depressed, lacking self worth, unsatisfied, used, emotionally bruised and pretty much like the dirty hoe bag that your actually not.
In this modern day world, we have more choice and freedom than ever to create our beautiful life the way we want it. With that freedom, some of us do find ourselves single for periods of time out of choice or because of necessity, there are many different reasons that this can happen it could be the fact of wanting a relationship of equality, true and honest love and a relationship that truly matches our worth, or some may not have been ready mentally to take on the scary but beautiful challenge of love and some are just quite content and happy doing there own thing.
The big thing for me is it is important not to condemn ourselves out of society driven beliefs that we "can't hold a man down", that there is something wrong with us because of our singledom, that we are weird, to picky, hard to please or any of the above and more. It's totally okay and fine to be single! Just because you are single and still enjoy casual sex with someone who is not "the one" does not mean you are a slut, whore, tramp or any of the other disgusting names that woman are labeled for being sexually active with out having a lifelong partner. Enjoy all the pros of being totally and utterly carefree and single while it lasts because before you know it you just may not be. Not that that's a bad thing either but you get my jist.
Another important point I would like to make about loveless sex before this comes to an end is please be conscious of the way you go about your fun, exciting, and satisfying singledom sex. Although the rush of sex can be exhilarating, for woman, well for me and I am sure others, it can just as easily drop you on your face if you are not having it for the right reasons and in the right energy and head space.
Please avoid doing it in an imbalanced masculine energy (hardened energy) as we are feminine and this does not make for a good mix. We all, male and female have both energies (masculine and feminine, hard and soft) and to have amazing loveless sex I believe these energies both need to be balanced. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, soft and passionate as well as logical and realistic about both expectations and you have the goods. Go into it hardened, which is very easy to do in these situations, being raised in a patriarchal (masculine driven) world, and you will disconnect so far from yourself and the sensations you are feeling it will cause a sort of numbness to sex and a disconnection from you sexy feminine power, which is not good, not good at all. It's about balance of energies, lovelies, and enjoy.
If men and woman are to be equal in career and life, we also have to stand up for the right of equality in sex and relationships, to be equally satisfied sexually, in love or not.
Take charge of your sexy life today, and power to the pussy!
Lots of love
Amy Dee xx